Home » Inspiration • Videos » Examples of Trust and Fulfillment by Simon Sinek; By Vamsi M on 8 August, 2014
Examples of Trust and Fulfillment by Simon Sinek
The video below (I quoted it – examples of trust and fulfillment, watch examples of courage video here), is perhaps one of the best inspirational videos I’ve come across in the recent past. The video covers one of the most extremely important topics; trust and how to attain fulfillment in life.
At Video Inspiration we have had very few videos about trust. Examples of trust are very rear to find but we have managed to find some really inspiring videos on building trust. If you are wondering about how to trust people, you should watch the video below. Simon in one of his outstanding speeches tells you how to build mutual trust.
Talking a bit about the speaker, Simon Sinek, is one of the best in delivering inspirational speeches about leadership. One of his ted video (which is included in our teachers inspirational video collection) stands out as an excellent example of how good speaker he is! In his latest ted speech simon talks about how good leaders make others feel safe!
The following is different though! If you are an email subscriber, you can visit this link to watch the video.
Video Transcription: Updated on 10th Aug
Over the next couple of days you would probably hear lot about, how to make better design, how to execute better, how to consider your clients and the end user when you are doing what you have to do. And I would like to add another item to the list, considering that you sit here for the next two days; which is how can you help the human race?
How can you help the human race, human species progress?
I am not joking either, this is something what we all have to be aware of; At the end of the day the human animal is a social animal and our very survival depends of forming communities and to form cultures. What’s a community? What’s a culture?
NOTE: Check this to find a fantastic inspiring video ad collection.
It’s a group of people with a common set of values, principles and beliefs, right? What’s a country? It’s a group of people with a common set of values and beliefs. What’s a company? It should be a group of people with a common set of values and beliefs.
When we are surrounded by people who believe what we believe, something remarkable happens. Trust emerges! And make no mistake; trust is a feeling, a distinctly, human, feeling. We all have friends who are total screw ups and we trust them. Trust is not a checklist, simply doing everything you say you would do doesn’t make people inherently trust you; it means you are reliable! We need trust, we need trust, when we are surrounded by people who believe what we believe and trust emerges; we trust them and they trust us. We are more willing to take risk; we are more willing to experiment which requires failure! We are more willing to explore and go somewhere someone has never gone before, with the confidence, that if we fail and if we trip over and if we turn our backs that those within our community, those we trust and who trust us will look after us, will pick us up if we fall over, help us when we are hurt, our very survival depends on it.
We are not good at everything; we are not good by ourselves! You know if I send you to fight a tiger by yourself the odds are tiger one you zero. It’s not gonna go very well, but if you go out as a group, we are pretty dam amazing! And the reason is we all have our strengths and weaknesses and goal is not to fix your weaknesses the goal is amplify your strengths and surround yourself with people who can do that you can’t do.
But it just not based on skills and application and experience, it’s based on what we believe, its based on what you believe! You see simply being good at something, having somebody else being good at what you are no good at does not mean that you will trust each other. Trust, a sense of trust comes from the sense of common values, common beliefs. I can prove it.
How many of you are from New York?
OK, bunch of you! Are you friends with everybody in New York? Why not? But when you go to Los Angeles, and you meet from New York, hey! I am from New York and you are best friends! Right?
And you go to France, there you are in the Paris metros minding your own business and you hear an American accent, you turn around and say, hey! Where are you from? They say Los Angeles, oh I am from New York and you are best friends!
Because when you are surrounded by people who don’t believe what you believe, when you are in a strange environment, when you don’t feel comfortable, you look for anyone who may share any values you have and you start to form a real and very intense bond with them; simply because you know that they have basic understanding of how you grew up, of the things that you care about, of the lifethat you lived back home.
Well the same is true with the work, do we want to go to work with people who understand us, believe what we believe, who have the similar view of the world that has nothing to do with their opinions, and the differences that we share! That’s good, that’s called diversity, that’s called advantages to problem solving, which is all we can look at the same thing from a different angle and come up with solutions. What I am talking about did you help each other in the first place? What are you in pursuit of?
Now the question is what creates that sense of values and beliefs? What creates that sense of trust? Alright? Our very human instinct we know how to find people who believe what we believe. Our survival depends on it we are biologically gifted with the idea.
If I ask you to go out in the street, and find out people who believe what you believe, you know exactly what to do, you are gonna strike up conversation. You are gonna start talking to people. Either you have a good feeling about them or you won’t, either way you will have chemistry (whatever that means) or you don’t. Sometimes it’s quick sometimes, it’s slow. But we know how to do it, it’s called making friends, it’s called dating, it’s called networking.
We have the ability to do it; the problem is it’s not scalable. The problem is you are the one who had that gut feeling. But if you know the symbols to look for, if you know how to see, the things that people are doing and seeing that you can find them, I can tell you go out to the street and find all the people who are wearing the red hats, it’s easy! There is one (5 times), they are easy to spot simply because they have a symbol, and they have something giving off that says something about who they are and what they believe.
When you are standing on that Paris metro, that American accent that you heard was a symbol it was a sign. You don’t know these people and yet you trust them. They will say to you, you guys have to go to this restaurant, and you will go ok and you will go to that restaurant because they told you to. Now, what if you are walking down the street, and some stranger, hey! You got to go to this restaurant and you will be like, crack pot. Right? You are gonna ignore them. This is what trust does! This is why, we don’t research everything, we don’t need access to all information. Lets say you want to buy a new television, right? So you do all your research, consumer reports, look at all, up right, I know what I am gonna buy, what I am gonna do, I am getting the LG, it’s the best on the market, can’t wait to get it. Right?
So, that’s what you have decided to do this week end! That Friday night, you go out to a friends house, your friend, the gadget guy, the guy who gets the first of everything; and you go to his house, and you can’t wait to share with him what you are gonna do with all your research. I am getting the new LG. And he says, nah man, get the SONY! It’s so much better. In that one instinct, both he has completely turned all his research on his head and you have to go back and do all the research again, is he right? Should I trust him? Should I believe him? Or you just brought a SONY!
All that marketing, all that research, out of the tube, down the drain, it doesn’t matter! Because the person you trust, the person from with in your community, told you that you to get the SONY, and you trusted him, he know more than you. He must be right, I trust him. I don’t have to know everything. Again, you are walking down the street, you accidentally bumped shoulders with somebody and they say where are you going, I am gonna buy the new LG, don’t get the new LG, I know everything about this stuff, get the SONY.
Crack pot, Right?
You are gonna ignore the person! We don’t trust everyone. We trust people from within our community. But you have to know what to look for, just as I said before, when you have to find the people with red hat, every single piece of communication we make, every decision we make in our life, is a piece of communication. Every decision we make in our lives, as individuals or as organizations is a piece of communication. It’s our way of saying something about who we are and what we believe. This is why authenticity matters! This is why you have to say and do the things you actually believe. Because the things you say and do are symbols of who you are. And we look for those symbols to find people who believe what we believe; our very survival depends on it.
So if you are putting false symbols, you will attract people to the symbols, but you won’t be able to form trust with them. This is what tiger woods did to us, he lied. He lied. He told us what we wanted to hear. And it was great, we are drawn to it. All those who kind of like that idea, sort of the good guy, were drawn to it. Until we found it that it was a lie. He could have been the bad boy of golf, he could have had all the close endorsements. He could have had fantastic courier and hailed has one of the great athletes of the day, but he didn’t. He chose to lie. Good luck forming trust again, tiger! We don’t believe you, we don’t trust you. The goal of putting something out there, if you say what you believe, and do what you believe, you will attract people who believe what you believe.
If you go to one of your friends, and you say to one of your friends, how would you like me to dress, so that you will like me better. How would you want me to address, how would you want me to speak so you will like me more. Right? You are friends are kind of looking like, what are you talking about? Come on, what should I wear so that you will find me more appealing and how would you want me to speak to you so that you will like me more. And your friends are gonna tell you just be yourself. That’s why I like you. Just be yourself.
Now I think what we do in the industry. We do market research, we go out and we ask the customers, what style should we speak to you, how should we decorate ourselves, what kind of things you are drawn to so that we can do those things for you, you can like us more. Just as ridiculous. It’s just as ridiculous.
Organizations should say and do the things that they actually believed and they will attract people who believe what they believe or they choose to lie, and the slightest hint that they might be lying, Sinicism sets in. And people start saying, I am not sure that I can trust these guys because there is not consistency about the things they say and do, which means they can’t have a strong believe set or they are lying to me. And we call them inauthentic.
The entire process of asking people who we should be is inauthentic. That’s hilarious to me. All these positioning studies we do, we are gonna find out from people so we can be more authentic, that’s hilarious.
Say and do what you actually believe. And the symbols you put out there, the things you say and the things you do, those red hats, are ways that people can find you. What you have the ability to do, as designers, is create those symbols; and allow people to use those things to say something about who they are. Work for companies, work for clients, work for people who you believe what they believe.
Show up and feel a part of something bigger than yourself. And your part is to put what they believe into pictures and words and symbols and graphics so that other people can use those things to say something about who they are. People put hardly Davidson logs on their body to say something about who they are, corporate logo! Ain’t any gamble on anybody’s arm. Because hardly means something, they stand for something. People put there tattoo not to tell you that they own a motor cycle, they put that tattoo to tell you something about themselves.
Have you seen anybody with a mac laptop put a sticker over that beautiful shining Apple, ain’t never gonna happen. Then how will you know who I am? Do you ever seen somebody PC breakout the windex to clean out there computer? Have you ever seen a dirty mac? Doesn’t exist. Does not exist, why? Because its who I am. These are symbols we use! The companies that are crystal clear in what they believe, and there discipline on how they do it, they are consistent in what they do. Everything they say, and everything they do, serves as a symbol of the set of values and beliefs. We use those symbols to say something about who we are! We surround ourselves with people and products and the brands that say something about who we are.
And when we confine the people who believe what we believe, we are weirdly drawn to them, because our very survival depends on it. We need it. And so the more you can give of yourself, the more of you can give of what you believe, the more you can discipline, with discipline, say and do the things you actually believe, strange things start to happen.
Just like on that metro in Paris. Simply because of one tiny little symbol that was put out there, that we are from the same place, we may have the same values, we may have the same beliefs, we are drawn to each other, legitimately trust each other and more importantly, we will look out for each other, and that’s the key to all of this!
We go to work every day and we sit at our computers, we sit at our desks and we solve problems by sending emails. Get up and go talk to somebody! It’s called human interaction, and it’s a beautiful beautiful thing.
I will tell you a quick story. I was on a plane, about a week ago actually, its only about a week ago, and I was coming down the plane, my seat mate, yes you know my companion for the next 5 hours, was already sitting down, she was in there and I had the windows seat.
And you know, we have always had this experience, the one who gets there first, looked out and you hoped, that its that one, please please no! You know, praying that becomes your seat mate, I’ve had many fantasies about wife’s and girl friends, that, never sat down next to me. Its better than an ice breaker, right? Hi, sitting next to you. Equally, we have seen people sitting down and please don’t sit next to me, please don’t sit next to me, we have all done that!
Well, she ignored me entirely. So I could only assume that she doesn’t want me to sit next to her. I somehow had a feeling that she was hoping that no one would sit next to her. So, you know what its like. The custom dictates, general politeness, that the person looks up to you and say, you sitting here! You know, she didn’t! She completely ignored me. Had her face on her book, I put my bag on the over head compartment, she still ignored me, till the point I actually said, excuse me, I am sitting there!
And she sort of begrudgingly, moved out, she didn’t stand out, she begrudgingly moved her legs side and huhh. You know, like this was something that she didn’t expect to happen. Right? I sat down and I knew how this fight gonna be like, I would have had my head phones for 5 hours and I’ve ignored the person who is sitting next to me and be afraid every time, I had to go to the bathroom.
When I am on the plane, the pressure, I have to go more, its very embarrassing. And I sit down and as soon as I got to go immediately again. I had a bladder infection, because anyway! Different story.
So, we got into flight, we sort of reached the altitude and the flight attendant came around and asked us if we want to have breakfast. And she came over and she said, would like the serial or would you like the omlet, she said to me. And I said, I’ll have the serial. And she turns to my sweet mate, seat mate, its funny. She turns to my seat mate and says, do you want the omlet or do you want the serial, and she says, I’ll have the serial, 2 serials. 4 mins later, the flight attendant, comes back and says, I only have one serial. So, I have already decided in my mind, that I was gonna say to my seat mate, you have the serial. Right? I have already decided, but before the words could come out of my mouth, she turns to the flight attendant and says, I’ll have the serial.
And at that point, I hated her. And here is the joke, she lacks a spirit of generosity. No matter, what option she would have chosen, she would have got the serial. For one if she waited for 3 seconds and heard that I was about to offer it to her, she would have got the serial. Right?
If she absolutely, had to have the serial, she could have turned to me and said, do you mind if I have the serial? And I would have said, go right ahead. She could have even apologized and thanked to me. I am really sorry, allergic to eggs, can I have the serial, you know. In another words, no matter what option she choose, she would have got the serial. But the one option she went with was to take a selfish perspective.
To go for what she wanted and ignored the ones desires and needs of anyone around her, even including being polite. In another words, she didn’t need to give me the serial, she could have just been polite about it. Right?
Now from that point on, I really hated her. And I wrote an article about this little experience, while I was in the plane sitting next to her, and made no attempt to turn the screen so that she couldn’t read it, secretly hoping she was.
And more importantly, now, I had no desire, to do anything for her anymore. Right ? Now, when we are done, when the flight landed, perhaps as a nice person if she had established some sort of repo with me, just because I am a nice guy, I would have taken her case down. Here you go, you know, but I didn’t and I wasn’t going to. Or if I did, it wouldn’t have been with a spirit of generosity. If I did it would have been as a smug remark, there you go, I am still nice. It would have been as a one of those deals. Or I would have done this simply as some sort of positive enforcement to myself that despite this horrible person I am still a nice guy. Right?
No matter which one would have motivated me to take that case down, it wouldn’t have been with a spirit of generosity. It would have been some sort of selfish act or some sort of aggressive act. Right? It’s the spirit of generosity. If we are willing to giving to the person next to her, its amazing that they are willing to give to us and again our very survival depends on it.
We need to trust each other, and we are more willing to trust somebody who is willing to help us. I hate the whole self help industry. How can you be happy, what are five steps you can follow to be a milliner? What are the seven steps to get your career right? You know, me me me.. What about helping the guy next to you? What are the 5 steps that you can help the person who is sitting next to you lose some weight? What are the 7 steps you can follow to help the person next to you find a job that they want?
Do you know how we get fulfillment?
You can be happy because you did the things that work! You can be proud because you did things that work. You can be excited because you had a big success that worked. But do you know how to get fulfilled at work? When you do something for someone else! It’s the only way we get that feeling. It’s the only way we get that feeling.
Do you know why the statistics say that 95% of people don’t feel fulfilled of the work they do? Its not because of the job, its not because of the pay, its not because of the benefits, its because we don’t help each other anymore. We sit in our cubes and we work. And any time we turn to anybody because we need something, we need to get something.
And yet, we don’t put ourselves out there, for no other reason to help somebody else.
Do you know what generosity is?
Generosity is doing something for someone else, expecting nothing in return, at no point ever! I did something for him, why won’t he help me? It’s not an equation, its designed to help you feel good. And mother nature has given us this feeling to do something for someone else, to encourage us to do it. Because when we are in groups, when we are surrounded by people who believe what we believe, trust emerges, and our very own survival and progress goes up.
Sex feels good. That’s why we do it. And Mother Nature has provided that it will feel good so that we can do it more. So that we can pro-create. That was not an accident, right? Well, the same goes here! The sense of fulfillment that we get, was designed so that we will do it more, not only we pro create, but we create strong senses of bond among-st each other.
I did a little experiment with a homeless person. Not like on them, it’s not like electrodes; with them; voluntarily helped me. Because the whole idea of giving, right? You have all walked down the street and you have seen someone begging and you either have or haven’t thrown few pennies in their cup.
When you do, you feel good. You bought that feeling that is a legitimate commercial transaction. You know, commercial transactions are defined as the exchange of the consideration. It was an exchange of consideration here. You got that feeling. If you didn’t give money, you either feel nothing or you feel bad, you can’t feel good by not giving.
Alright, you paid for that feeling. So now the question is, how was the person encouraging us, to give? The joke is, they act like every co-operation in the world. They talk about themselves! Me me, me me, me me me.. Right? Like they sit there, little outdoor advertising, little sign, right?
At it says.. I am homeless. I am hungry, I’ve got 12 kids, I am blessed, and they’ve got everything in there. Trying to appeal to somebody. The religious vote, the child sympathized vote, right? All in an attempt to get something from someone. Takers, not givers. Right? All about me, what do corporations do? We have added more ram, we have added more speed, this one is number one, we are the biggest, we are the best since 1969, we are better than them, we are faster than them, we are more efficient than that one.
Me me me.. And so, even if we buy their products, guess what, we don’t feel much. So I did this little experiment, I found a nice homeless lady on the streets of New York im willing to help out, and I learned with her sign which was pretty typical, I am homeless, I am hungry… She makes between $20 – $30 a day, for a day with work and for 10 hours sitting there selling good will.
8 to 10 hours she will make $20 to $30 considering a good day. I changed her sign and the new sign, made her $40 in two hours and then she left. Its one of the reasons why she is homeless, she decided that she only need $20 to $30 a day to live. If she had stayed, she would have made $150.
The point is she made $40 in two hours. What did the sign say?
The sign said – “If you only give once a month, please think of me next time.” It has nothing to do with the taker, it has everything to do with the giver! And what are the objections people give? When they don’t give, I can’t give to everyone. How do I know that they really need it?
And so, I addressed both those concerns. I know you can’t give to everyone, so if you only give once a month, my cause is legitimate, I will still be here, when you are ready to give.
$40 – 2 hours! Make it about them, not about you. The fact of the matter is that 100% of customers are people! And 100% of clients are people. And 100% of employees are people. I don’t care how good your product is, I don’t care how good your marketing is, I don’t care how good your design is, If you don’t understand people, you don’t understand business.
We are social animals, we are human beings and our survival depends on forming trust and relationships. We could have had this conference, online! I could have given the same talk sitting behind my computer, you could have all turned on webex. We all could have sat on our terminals, and I’ve given you the exact same information. Would it have been the same? No, I am not there!
There is this weird thing about human interaction. Right? we can form trust, you can like what I say, but you wouldn’t be able to form trust without it. In fact, simply being here, we all say the same thing. For 2 days, you could have absolutely boring speakers, boring, boring and boring. Right? We have all been to those! May be one shining start, not like him. You know. And what do we say when we leave? The speakers s*ck, but I am glad I went because I met some great people.
Its this, this is what the conference is all about. You showed up not because you are in an industry, it’s because you all have a common set of values and beliefs. There is a million design conferences, you gotta take time out of your day, you got to pay money, it’s called sacrifice, its called payment. Its called risk, but you are here, simply because you know something about each other.
When you go out on the street, in an area where you don’t belong, where you are not among people who believe what you believe and you see somebody with the same badges, you haven’t met them yet, you are gonna go, hey!
Why? They are just as much of a stranger as the other person in the street. But because they have a little symbol that says that I believe where you believe, I am a little bit like you, we can form a bond very quickly and instantly. You do! You do! Its called human beings.
Do you ever watch, deadliest catch? On the discovery channel, I switched the channel and the deadliest channel came on. On this episode, just random, they were in a huge storm, now for those who have don’t know the deadliest catch, they take these crab fishing boats out in the bearing sea, it was like terrible. And they put cameras on them and we watch. Right?
The reason why its significant because, these crab fisher men is one of the top 5 deadliest jobs in the world. I don’t know what the exact number is, but dozens for fisher men die every year, doing this.
We apparently find it entertaining. But it actually is. So, they have those cameras on 5 or 6 of those ships and there are many many ships that go out fishing every season. And they don’t really come into proximity with each other, you know the ocean is huge, they usually sanitize each other, false information, they are all competitors, they are all looking to get the crabs and make sure that they find something that somebody else doesn’t. Well that’s business right?
Just business, ok. We all do the same thing in our companies. And in this one episode, in this big huge storm is so violent, that they had to bring all the parts of the big cages that they catch the crabs. They were all the parts back on the boat and wait out the storm.
And just by dumb luck, one of the boats that had the cameras on it was in proximity of the boat that didn’t have cameras on it. And so they film, they have secured all there parts on the deck, they started filming the other boat. And they filmed a guy climbing on the out side of the cage, securing the parts.
And all the sudden a huge wave hits the side of the boat and the guy is not there anymore. And the people on the boat with cameras screen, started screaming, man overboard, man overboard. And they turned there boat towards where there they think they might be. He is a stranger, they don’t know him, they don’t know the crew members of the boat and yet they react. And they turn towards him, and they find him in the brink.
For those of you who don’t understand, how dangerous this is, the water is so cold that if you are in the water for, I think it’s a minute or a minute and half, hypothermia will set in and you die.
And they come up on him and he is screaming, don’t let me die. Don’t let me die. And they pull him on the board, not out of the woods yet, they strip off his clothes, because its wet and cold, and they wrap blankets around him to prevent hypothermia from setting him.
And he survives. And it’s overwhelming. And the captain comes down, you can go watch it on TV, the captain comes down and he hugs this stranger, this young man, his competitor, he hugs this guy, as if he is his own son. I lost it. Everybody is crying, and you realize, what happened here, was a human interaction. And the season they risk their own lives to help this other person, even though they spend every other day trying to get ahead in the saboteur is because at the end of the day they are all crab fisher men and they know something about each other. And they know about the risk that they all take to do this.
And one push comes to self, they will put themselves out there, to help each other for no other reason than they get it. They are one of the same. I will promise you that every single member of that crew, that day, when home with a feeling of fulfillment. I promise you that every single person on that crew that day, felt more good in their hearts and in there jobs than the richest days they have every pulled in. My question is, what are you doing to help the person next to you. Don’t you wanna wake up and go to work for the only reason that you could do something for someone else? When you want them to do that for you?